04 8 / 2013
It’s absolutely surreal that I was just browsing through the wedding pictures of a girl, the same age as me, I went to elementary school with.
Then my best friend is getting married sometime next year to the perfect man for her. It’s incredible. I still can’t believe that people I know are getting married.
This is when it all begins. We’re starting our lives and actually becoming the adults we’ve always dreamt of becoming. It’s funny because growing up you think that by now you’ll have it all figured out: love, career, friends. But I don’t, not by a long shot. I don’t think anyone grows up as automatically as they believe. It happens, but it happens in the mistakes we make and risks we take that signal to us where to go next.
In the mean time, I’m just gonna go plan my wedding on Pinterest…
17 7 / 2013
We just cooked dinner. I made broccoli mac and cheese and she made meatballs in mustard sauce - it was all so delicious. We had some ice cream for dessert.
Now I’m alternating between my crocheting and screaming answers to “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire”; and she’s in her nightgown hoping we catch “The Bachelorette” online at some point. At the same time, naturally, we’re both dying because of the heat, and both drifting in and out of sleep when it’s barely 9:30.
This is perfect summer normalcy in my house. We’re just a twosome of old ladies and I love it.
16 7 / 2013
Did I really just break my creative writing block by writing iCarly fanfiction?
Yes. Why, yes, I did.
15 7 / 2013
I’ve just begun watching Sherlock.
Dear God, there goes any chance of productivity.
Let me just fix myself some tea and proceed to spend the next few days holed up with Netflix, thanks.
10 7 / 2013
I’ve fallen from grace
took a blow to my face
i’ve loved and i’ve lost
i’ve loved and i’ve lost
(this song brings back so many memories i cannot handle right now)
08 7 / 2013
Work is so stressful. I’m getting a lot better at delegating and sharing managerial responsibilities, but I’m still learning the ropes of how to best handle stressful, fast-paced situations. The most troublesome aspect of being a manager or in customer service is dealing with unhappy customers. I have a tendency to say ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again, which I think undermines my authority and makes me look like I don’t know what I’m doing.
I experienced just that today when we had a rush of people come into the pizza shop and were understaffed in the cook department. Waiting times were getting into the 50-minute mark, but people had been told their orders would be ready in 35 minutes. This happened because the cooks messed up on an order and were behind on orders already, but we at the counter didn’t realize it when communicating pick-up times to customers. Nonetheless, we had to deal with a lot of disgruntled people and I ended up giving a couple a refund on their pizza because they couldn’t wait any longer. When I told my superior manager this on the phone, I was reprimanded because we’re ‘not allowed’ to give refunds. But what else was I supposed to do in this situation? When these customers literally paid for a pizza they no longer wished to wait to recieve? I made what I thought was the most appropriate call.
I’ve had to deal with these same situations for the past 3 weeks while I’m getting accustomed to the manager on duty position, but I still don’t have my raise. I was going to ask about it this week, but I’m afraid that I screwed myself over with the refund incident.
Situations like the one tonight, where anything and everything is going wrong and we’re making a lot of people unhappy, stress me out a lot. It makes me think about my choice to pursue a career in medicine, where no doubt I’ll encounter a lot of disgruntled patients and their families, not to mention anxiety-inducing uncertainties and decisions where, like tonight, I have to make the most appropriate call and risk being wrong.
I think there is a saving grace, though. That one moment where in the midst of frowning faces there is a smile that makes you remember why you chose this.
At the pizza place, I recall a really empathetic woman to whom I merely handed a drink because I saw she was having a hard time walking - who thanked me with kind words and a 25% tip. There was also the man and his family who spent a few minutes giving their accolades for their meal in front of the rest of the people eating in-house.
In medicine, the lives you save, the women and men you let go to continue going through life’s pivotal moments, the children who get to blow out their birthday candles for decades and decades to come - they make the job worth it despite the grueling work and disgruntled patients you deal with, not to mention the times when things take a turn for the awful.
It can be merely one smile or thought of hope that make things worth it in the end. And I think that’s why I’m in it. Despite the stress and anxiety that will undoubtedly come with the medical profession because, hello, you hold people’s’ lives in your hands. What if you mess up because you’re only human, too? For every one of the heartwrenching or hard decisions you have to make, for every understandably frustrated parent you have to speak with regarding their sick child, for every uncertainy you have - there is the fact that your work brings a smile to someone’s face, that you can help people and can give them hope, that you can make them happy or at least healthier. That, I think, is the saving grace of medicine. That’s why I’m in it - because the good times, they’re really good.